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Vampires vs Zombies

• Genre: Zombie
• Release Year: 2004
• Director: Vince D'Amato
• Writer: Sheridan Le Fanu, Vince D'Amat
• Running Time: 85min
• Rating: R (Lang, Nudity, script)
• Reviewed by: harbinger on Fri 5 Sep 08

Official Blurb:
Witches. Vampires. Lesbians. Zombie Catholic School Girls. Cannibals. ...Need we say more?

A fast & furious horror-action-comic vampire-lesbian story... Based on the classic tale CARMILLA by J. Sheridan Le Fanu. The young heroine Jenna, who has fallen victim to a strange vampiric plague causing all sorts of wild hallucinations, takes off with her father Travis to battle the source of the vile infection… The vampire Carmilla.

Juliet, Carmilla’s keeper, keeps a close eye on them during their travels. Their destination is Carmilla's hometown, where all the apocalyptic horror began. And where Jenna and Travis will meet their friend The General, and have their only opportunity to destroy Carmilla, a centuries-old baroness.

But Carmilla has other plans for Jenna... And by the time they get to the town, they will have to face Catholic school-girl zombies, cannibals, vampires at every turn (including the one in Travis's trunk) and a very pissed-off General. All while Carmilla is slowly seducing Jenna'a mind and body. A new take on the Le Fanu classic, complete with surprising Lynch-esque plot twists and a wild splatter-punk finale, complimenting the original erotic storyline... Wickedly sexy!

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Review:
Oh gah.. I don't want to relive this movie enough to reiterate the story.. but here goes..

The Film starts off easy enough.. Jenna, the lead heroin, is having a dream about being seduced by a vampire.. then is suddenly awakened when the car she is riding in hits and splatters a zombie all over the road. OK Cool.. I can dig this..

It's all down hill from there folks. This is primarily a vampire flick worthy of late night cable with just enough T to give it a strong R rating.

Unless you've read the story this is based on, you won't really have a good idea of what's going on until almost the end of the film.. else it's all driving scenes and some sun-lit / broad-daylight vampire action at a gas station. Having not read the story, I was in that boat.. and it was the sort of boat you expect to capsize in the sea.

The film itself is sort of 'meh'. There are some satirical moments.. usually centering around implied bodily mutilations. There is some gore in the film, but not enough to make it 'a gore film'.

Don't expect a zombie horde or a survival flick because it isn't here. Zombies make only about 5 short appearances or so in this entire film, and only about 2 of them have more then a single zombie, and one of those is 'where did these zombies come from all the sudden.. they just materialize in a closed, lit, hotel room?!'.. I can believe in zombies.. I just can't believe in magically teleporting zombies.

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What I liked:
- The Gas-powered electric hedge-trimmer scene... which has the longest and most number of zombies in it... ok.. it's not really -that- good
- Random hit-and-runs on zombies
- 'The General'.. he reminds me of a angry Kenny Rogers for some reason.
- The acting and production is actually better then I would expect for a film of this level (there are still some spots where it's sort of bad.. )
- The Zombies do 'win'...sorry if this is a spoiler for you.


What I didn't like:
- "Needs more Zombie"
- There is no grand contest between zombies and vampires.. don't believe the title.. "The title is a lie".
- The weird plot things at the end. It's good to make plot twists and have surprises.. it's bad to make them to difficult to follow. I shouldn't have to watch your film 2 or 3 times to figure out what's going on, nor should I have to wonder exactly what character is who in the flash backs.
- Know how Lord of the Rings gets a bad rap for the 'Walking Scenes'.. well this has 'Driving Scenes'.

Final Scoring:

2.0 Zombie Heads of a possible 5 Zombie Heads

Personal Recommendation: I want my 85 minutes back. Vampire lovers might like it; Zombie lovers are left out to dry

Availablity:
  Netflix     Amazon  

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